February is the Month of Love
By Cherie L. Barnes
Author-Therapist- Life & Grief Coach at The Healing Group Community, LLC
February is the month of love, and we celebrate it with Hallmark cards, dinners, flowers and sentiments sent via Facebook, Instagram or, for sure, Twitter. However, what do you do when this month is not so special to you anymore? Perhaps, after you have lost someone you care about and are grieving? During this time of year, many who experience a loss, not necessarily of a loved one, are discomforted by more than mere physical losses. People know loss through divorce, separations from a job or employment, and they grapple with losses of friendship, lost ideas, and other things that others don’t even think about.
Holidays this month are not always happy for people who are struggling to get through; but not only this month, this stands true for times such as anniversaries of death, birthdays, and other major holidays including Memorial Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas. These holidays evoke such strong emotions that sometimes dealing with them is too hard to do if a person doesn’t have anyone to support them during that season of despair in their life. If you are one of these people or know someone who is, these tips can help to navigate and to deal with difficulties during this month of LOVE.
- Identifying a support system is key. Stay strong by reaching out to others when you are in need. Don’t just assume that people know what you need.
- Understand that it does take time, and realize that just because time passes, it doesn’t mean that you will feel better after a short, few months. Dealing with grief can be a lifelong journey, and only you will eventually come to know the best comfort for those feelings.
Helpful tip: Speak or write affirmations of love to yourself during this love season in February and beyond so that you do feel supported, loved and celebrated. Affirmations are words that you hold to be true or that you want to happen in your life. Often people think of positive affirmations as things that they can work on and become true in their lives. I have several that I use which help set the tone for each day. I also have additional ones that are especially uplifting when I am feeling down and need some support.
The power of affirmations is that they are the truths in us which only need a little help of getting out. How can you affirm what you are feeling, and how does this help in your healing journey? One way is by writing down positive thoughts and keeping them in view, as on a refrigerator, mirror, or phone. Recite them every day and allow them to become true in your life. Affirmations are also vehicles of self-help that must be shared with others. Let them be a guide to who you are and how you plan to be in the present or near future to yourself as well as others, and be committed to always living and being the person that your affirmations dictate you to be.
I have listed some affirmations that will start and lead to discovery a journey to healing.
- You are loved. I am loved.
- I am being kind to myself today.
- Gentle is the process.
- I am open to being great.
- Healing has my name on it.
- I have a purpose and will continue to move forward!
Cherie Barnes, MA, NCC, Life & Grief Coach, Licensed Professional Counselor has spent the last 20 years working in the correctional and mental health fields. Cherie is a best-selling author in the U.S. and the U.K and has found her life’s purpose in this season by helping others let go of grief through her practice where she deals with grief, traumas, and loss at The Healing Group Community, LLC. Cherie credits the stress-relieving benefits of friendship, community and finding purpose essential to healing.